Connection

How to end stress, unhappiness and anxiety to live in a beautiful state

Let me share a fable with you, for stories are ways of immortalizing messages. Two monks, Yesmi and Nomi are returning back to the monestary after a day of teaching in the nearby village. They are just about to cross the river when they hear a woman crying. Yesmi walks up to her and asks her what was troubling her. She needed to get back to her toddler who was living in the village across the river. Since the river has risen that day, she is feeling miserable that she will not be able to go back to her toddler and her child would cry for her all night. On hearing her, Yesmi volunteers to help her. He carries her across the river and drops her on the the other side. And they continue with their walk. About a half and hour into the walk, Nomi, in a very agitated tone, speaks up. He says, “Yesmi do you know what you have done?” Yesme calmly looks at him. “A master said, ‘Never look at a woman’, you spoke to her. A master said, ‘Never speak to a woman’, you touched her. A master said, ‘Never touch a woman’, you carried her.” Yesmi calmly looks at Nomi and says, “Yes, that is true, but I have dropped her half an hour ago, it is you who still carries her.”

Compromise on the essence of being human
Sadly our education, the entire system of our society, our parents, our relgion, do not bring sufficient attentionto our inner state. In fact the the very structre of eduction at school makes us compete, makes us feel jealous of another’s progress, makes us feel ashamed of being less. It is a total compromise on the essence of being human.

Connection
Yesmi helped … because he was able to feel the lady’s pain. He was able to feel her suffering. Actions in a beautiful state arise from a place of connection, not from an ideal.

Three typical responses
How do we address numerous challenges of our life? There are three well-trodden paths people usually take.
One, we live in stressful states, and plummet into hurting inner states. Two, we try to escape stress, we try to achevie a temporary dopamine high, however, when the dopamine plateus, we are left feeling emotionally dry and empty.
Three, we try replacing inconient beleifes stories and ideas with more convenient ones.
The problem is that none of these three paths have the power to get you off the gravitational pull of suffering or long-term stress.

Self-centric thinking
He saw all emotional suffering arising from obsessive self-centric thinking. It is a total incessant preoccupation with oneself. And it is this preoccupation that separates you from the other. It is this preoccupation that is responsible for conflict and division of every kind that we see in the world today. This truth can be inconvenient for us. But if we can observe our emotional suffering in the light of this insight, then this truth can liberate us, this truth can set us free.

In suffering, in unhappiness, in stressful states, you are preoccupied with yourself. We are preoccupied with injustice done to us. We are proccupied with pleasure that was denied us, we are preoccupied with opportunities that did not come our way, we are preoccupied with love that was witheld from us. It is a total preoccupation with oneself. And in this state, we are not concerned with finding solutions to the problem at hand. For the entire thinking is only me, me, me and me. That’s all we think in unhappiness.

Connection creates the ‘beautiful state’
Yesmi is different. He is connected to the lady’s plight. He helps her. He understands Nomi’s distress and tries to help him out with a wise remark. In a beautiful state you’re powerful enough to help yourself and help others around you. You are outright intelligent, and your actions are decisive and powerful. Actions in a beautiful state arise from a place of connection, not from an ideal. They contribute to the well being of ourselves and the people around us. War, division, and conflict of every form can only end when more and more of us live in a beautiful state.