Concluding Statements:
I'm a slow woman, so I want to think slowly, and talk my conclusions slowly. I think good quick is a kind of physcial term we do things quckly and we save more time so we can do a lot of activity produce, finish a lot of work, produce a lot of prodcuts. It's a physcial term. But for our mind, or emotions, we need to slow down our pace, to refresh our bad emotion, and think deeply of our life. And then enjoy the true life. Yes, that's my thinking.
I really agree with this.
For me, I think speed is not a very big concern or question for me, because sometimes when I'm doing my work, I know my boss expects me to do things quckly, so I do things quickly. And when I have my own personal time, I can take my time, and relax and do things. And I think that my iPhone is a good friend, it is very convenient, and provides a lot of fun or me. But for the bad side, it really makes me have less time to think about myself, and maybe do some plan, or maybe think about things that happened today. It really make me become part of the 'head-down brigade'.
I think maybe I moved fast and talked fast once, but now I'm getting older, my movement, my thinking is becoming slower. But I've observed this evidence lately...
But you're learning a new job, we can't emphasize this enough!
...but I'm slo slow. I'm so nervous about this, I'm trying to catch up, work on everything...
But you're in a new culture, it's culture shock, really.
...so I'm trying to catch up this new environment, normally when I talk fast and react fast, it's not so good for me, because I seldom think what does that mean, and what's the beneift of that behavior, the think fast, talk fast eat fast, and I try to slow down my steps, and think more, but maybe not so much as Fanny, but I think about things more, and slow down my thinking and my steps. Yeah. Maybe I need more time to figure it out.
I really don't know what to say, I just think we have too many deadlines to meet, in our life. And too too many deadlines means to much pressure, too much pressure means sacrificing your relationship with your family, and your firends and yourself. I think we need to give each one of us their own space, and let them follow their own pace. Each one of us has their own pace, we don't need to follow others' speed. We need to give each other their distance.
Discussion transcript:
What do you do quickly?
I'm a super-fast reader
I walk quickly
I work very quickly.
Oh, excellent.
Things that I don't like.
True, agree!
And I read quickly when I want to find out the ending to a story.
What do you do quickly because you have to do it that way?
When something's near the deadline.
When I'm afraid that I will be late.
Like me!
I take showers very quickly, because I"m afraid to be cold.
I take them quickly because I find showering boring
You could put a television in your bathroom.
Or just play music.
When I run out of time, to meet a deadline.
What do you enjoy doing quickly?
I enjoy that I can read quickly, and put ideas together quickly.
I enjoy others doing things quickly…
Yeah, but that's not you!
I enjoy driving quickly.
I don't enjoy doing things quickly.
Me either.
Were you ever characterized as 'quick' in school?
No. x2
Yes. x3
Yeah, I move quickly.
And talk quickly!
What were you 'quick' at?
Talking.
Eating.
Talking & thinking.
What were the results of this?
Sometimes you might miss the important key point or the important part.
Soemtimes if you react too fast it's insulting or embarassing for the other person or you.
Or sometimes you miss something, and react too fast, you miss the whole picture.
But if you do things fast and well, I think your boss will like it.
Right, but when I do things fast, I alwys make a lot of mistakes.
Me too!
What do the words fast, quick, speed mean in our culture?
Efficient
Successful
On point
Good
Mature
Why mature?
The process is mature, and then people can process it very quickly.
So when the system is mature enough, people can do things more efficiently.
Like motorola's six sigma system.
Are these desirable characteristics?
Yeah
There's nothing you wouldn't want here?
Even though we don't want to do things quickly, but others want us to do things quickly.
Is there such a thing as 'bad quick'? 'Good quick'?
Eating things quickly.
You make a lot of mistakes.
Any other kinds of bad quick?
Spending time for your life too quickly.
What do you mean?
Like you just want to skip some steps, or like the movie 'click', you just, for instance you don't want to take an exam, so you just skip it, but you don't the time back either.
And you lose the moment that you could enjoy some good thing.
Yeah, every time i have a hard time, i just want to have that remote control, but actually when I pass the trouble or something, it's okay.
And actually, sometimes you learn something from going through the trouble.
What do you do slowly?
Most things.
Yeah, almost everything.
You eat slowly.
Me too.
I've learned to eat slowly because of her.
Maggie hasn't learned from me.
I do most things quickly, as soon as possible. But I always clean my room slowly.
Why, but then it takes longer!
I speak English slowly, because I reassemble the sentences in my head.
I react quite slowly.
You know, one time I had this slow motion fight with my girlfriend, and actually it was a really good thing. We were sitting across from each other, very angry, but like she would say something, and then I was trying to think of what I wanted to say, and it took me awhile, and she just waited, like staring at me angrily, but she waited for me. And I felt really respected by this, she wanted to know what I was going to say. So I finally figured out what I wanted to say, and said it, and then she too awhile to figure out what she wanted to say, and I just waited for her. What was so cool about this, was that in this way we actually were able to resolve what we were fighting about, and just went out for a drink after like nothing was ever wrong. But actually it was better, because I really felt like we had a really good relationship. I just felt so respected, and like I really had time to say what I needed to say, and hear what she had to say.
It was a good slow! I like this.
What do you do slowly because you have to do it that way?
Talking with children. Otherwise they will talk a lot of things, with a slow speed.
You have experience with this?
No, it's just what I imagine.
And children always have a lot of questions, you have to take time to listen to them.
But actually they don't wait for you, they expect you to have an answer right away.
And they ask some ridiculous, well not ridiculous, but special questions.=
Sometimes, yes, it's ridiculous.
Painting. Not walls, but painting a painting.
I type really slowly. Because my ex-boss typed really fast, and that made me feel ashamed.
Thinking.
And you have to do it that way?
You know, it's not possible for me to think a question through, without taking a long time. Usually it takes several hours, or several days, or sometimes several years, to think through a problem.
I think it's making decisions. I can't make it on the spot.
Yes, making decisions is very slow.
And hard to choose what you need.
Like, I can push myself to make the decision and have it be done, but it won't necessarily be my real decision.
Particularly the decision of buying things.
A friend of mine says when he has to make a decision, he thinks through all the pros and cons with his brain, and all the logic of it, and then he puts it aside for a day, a week, a month, to wait to see how he feels about it. He says that way when you make the wrong decision, it's still okay, because he felt okay about the decision when he made. it.
You know, it takes a while to be in touch with our feelings
I wonder if we were living in a slower culture, could we make decisions faster?
So your saying, if we already know what exaclty we need, so we could make decisions faster?
Yeah.
Well, it's hard to imagine that situation, since we're not in it.
What do you enjoy doing slowly?
Taking a shower.
Hahaha, we're opposite!
Having a delicious meal.
Eating cake.
Living.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
That's really profound, can you elucidate?
Yeah!
You know, I'll be characteried as a failure based on the video. Because we think faster is better, in our normla modern life. Quicker is always better than slower.
Okay, you just told us what we already know. What do you mean by living slower?
I don't like to be rushed, so I leave a lot of time beforehand.
That used to drive me nuts. = drive me crazy
What does nuts mean?
nuts=bananas=crazy
And I don't like to take on too many jobs, if I cannot do it, if it will influence my life too much, I'll say no.
That's so cool!
I didn't know you didn't know that!
Were you ever characterized as 'slow' in school?
Yes x2
You know, but I don't think that we were that slow.
When i say myself as a slow kid, actually, we were not that slow.
Then why do you say you were slow
Well, I characterize myself as a slow kid compared to the faster learner.
I always react slowly, and talk slowly, and take a shower slowly. And when my friends were telling a joke, everyone laughs, but then ten minutes later, I would laugh.
Me too! My family had a joke about 'two minutes later....', because of that.
But both of you have long memories.
Yeah, I have the memory of an elephant.
I even get angry slowly.
You're a Taurus, right?
In my division at work, only one person is a cancer, the other are all gemini.
So do you come in and they're all the same mood, or are half of them in one mood, and the others in the other mood?
Do gemini and cancer get along?
Yeah, I think so.
I remember that they don't but I'm not sure.
I don't know, there's astrology, and then there's people
My mom is a cancer…
Mine is too.
Mine is a virgo. And it's a kind of a joke in our family, because she had 7 kids.
What were you slow at?
I was slow at math. It really was a problem.
Everything.
Sports.
Excerise.
Yeah, sports
What were the results of this?
My classmates would tease me about it.
So do you hate math?
Yeah, until I found out that I'm not bad at it, I'm just slow at it. I can do it fine.
So, I just accept I don't like sports, I can't do very well at it, so I always don't join the ball games, I just watch.
I'm the same.
Actually, when I was in elementary school, I was good at sports, but when I was in senior high school, urghhh. I don't know how to say it, but I became weak, and lazy,and I didn't want to excercise. I was slow at sports.
But now you do softball right?
No, I almost never excercise.
What does 'Slow' mean in our culture?
Bad.
Stupid.
Late.
Lazy.
Not efficient.
I couldn't think of anything! I never think of slow as a bad thing, so I couldn't think if anything!\
But it doesn't have to be a bad thing, is it always bad in our culture?
But we always think that 'as soon as possible'
Is it better?
Most people think it's better. For instance my mother always complains my father drives too slowly, but my father thinks that it's safer than driving fast.
Yes, slow is more safe.
Is it a desirable characteristic?
So in our culture slow is not desirable?
But it's healthy, mroe and more people say slow down and relax don't be so nervous.
What do these words mean: lazy, slacker, 'a bit slow'
These are all negative words
No good, not good enough
Is there such a thing as 'bad slow'? 'Good slow'?
Yeah, good slow is the slow motion fight.
I think so too.
Enjoy our weekend.
Waking up slow!
Yeah.
Enjoy life.
Eating more slowly, even an ordinary bien deng can taste better.
Do you feel you think quickly or slowly?
Slowly. x2
Depends if I've thought it through already or not.
Depends on my neurons. Sometimes I think fast, and sometimes i think slowly, and I can't imagine what happened. Like the other boss talks to me, and I just can't think at all at that time, but other times I can react so quickly.
But that's a new area for you, you just need more time! Be patient.
Do you think we're expected to do more in the same amount of time than before?
Yes.
Your boss expects you to do more.
What do you feel about that?
Pressure.
yeah.
Challenging.
And unfair. We earn the same pay, but do more than before.
Yes! I agree.
And people have their own good characteristics and also bad characteristics, and if you want people to do everything good, it's impossible. My sister, she just finished her class in Japan and came back to taiwan, and now she's searching for new jobs. She's got angry that most boss want people to do a lot of things at the same times. For instance, there's a position that wants people who are good at graphic design, but also good at doing paper. It's impossible, I think.
Do you find you have less downtime?
What does downtime mean?
Not doing anything, relaxing.
Spacing out.
This is related to smart phones.
Yes. We have a lot of things we can do, like watch videos online, or smart phones, and talk with friends anywhere, anytime.
And they aways say, what's up, and they are always typing very fast to send the message, and I don't know what they're typing, but they're always typing, and that's interesting, because I don't have 3G.
Is that the reason you don't want a 3G phone?
Maybe.
So what does it mean to you, how does it affect your life to have less downtime?
Nervous all the time.
Do you have less down time?
No, I give myself plenty of time.
I find that I lose time to release my emotion. Because, before I have a lot of time, I have nothhing to do, So i will think about how I feel, and why.
Yeah, I haven't done that for awhile.
Now when I feel bad, i'll just go to watch a movie online or whatever, but it's not exploring my emotion. and now I always feel unhappy, even though I have more things to do now.
So, watching movies doesn't make you feel better.
During the time, you feel better, but the problem is still there.
Yeah!
So, before, how did you make yourself better?
I would talk to myself.
So why don't you do this now?
Because you find that your time is shifted to watching movie.
Basically I've stopped painting since I bought my notebook computer.
Recently, I watch less television. I don't know, I think the time is become slow, but I don't know how to describe the..
You can do…
I can do more things…
Or have more experience?
No, just like…
You used to waste too much time on tv.
So when I cut down on televsion time, I have more time to do other things, just like clean the room, or have a shower. I find my time become more, I think.
Relatively more.
You know, I tell people I'm so busy, but I'm actually just busy reading shit on the internet. It's beause I feel busy, but i'm not busy with anything real.
When is the last time you did nothing?
Just during the end of February, it was a rainiy day the whole weekend, so we did nothing, just stay at home.
Shat do you mean by nothing?
Lay on bed, eat slowly, try to watch tv, but there was nothing worth watching, so just go around the house.
That's really nothing!
Because it's raining.
Not really sleeep, not really do anything...I have to do this more!
Like time freezes
Yes, time just stops!
Yes!
When I have a good moment, I just want the moment to just exist forever. But it's actually impossible.
You know, when I went to Kaoshiung, to Sheziwan, I watched the sunset. I really wanted the moment to freeze. I didn't think about anything, i just looked at the sunset.
Yeah, like that time I went to Danshui with some friends, and we just sat in a cafe, nothing special, and we didn't even talk, really, we just sat and looked out the window, and we just hung out. Not really thinking anything, just...being together I guess.
Before I liked to just sit in my room and listen to the sound of the rain.
Oh, that's romantic!
Looking at the rain and spacing out/daydreaming.
Does waiting for something to happen count as doing nothing? Does it have the same benefit?
It's not the same situation, because when we are waiting for soomething, the difference is you have some emotion, like there's a purpose, or you're preparing for the conversation. Or just looking forward to meet someone, your friend. It's not really spacing out, your feeling, your mind.
Because spacing out, you have forever.
Wow, forever!
Wow, I want to write this on my Facebook. It's like a slogan!
Maybe we could create an advertisement
For what though?
For refusing to use a smartphone!!
I love that.
What is your default mode? Busy? Spacing out? Thinking about something? Planning your next move? Finding something on the internet? Looking for something?
Mine is 'busy at the internet'
Mine is zen.
OMG that's true, if you could bottle Stacy, you could bottle Zen.
Angry, that's Anna's default mode.
Huh?
You remember, the coworker last week who critized people all the time.
My default mode is talking. Because I like to talk. But recently, I find i talk less.
Because it's the new area.
Sometimes I will accidentally let this true part of me (talking) out, but then I work hard to reel it back, and swallow it, at work.
Why is it a problem to reveal your true self?
Because I have a new environment, and I have to observe it and figure it out. Sometimes I get out of control and talk too much, but I'm trying to control it.
But I like the true part of you!
Maybe thinking about something. When I have nothing to do, when i go home, I think about what I have to do next, and then after that.
Youre always planning.
Yes, this weekend, what I need to do.
I think I always check my facebook.
So, you need this slogan, "Because spacing out you have forever!"
But is spacing out easy.
It's easy!!!!
So you can quit the iPhone! Congratulations!
No, wait, I can space out, but, I can't quit checking, what are my friends news, what is the status, i can't help it.
And talking is your true path! You can't help being direct!
If someone randomly asks you, "What are you thinking," would you ever answer, "nothing"?
When I have a secret, I don't want to say it, I'll answer 'nothing.
No, but I mean for real.
Most of the time, when I answer' nothing' it's for real.
And do you often answer nothing?
It depends.
Sometimes, when I'm going home, my brain is just thinking "I'm going home"
Wow, that's cool
Why not? Of course!
Sometimes, but not always. Sometimes I will think, you know I'm not Stacy, but then again I'm not Fanny. So…
You don't plan a lot.
You're in the normal range!
Hey, we're sitting in order of how much we think!
